Save Your Marriage & Attract Your Husband's Tender Love with Ease

When God created you as a woman, he put on your heart the seed of a dream.

And in that dream there would one day be a handsome man who would see you fully as the incredible beauty that you are.

And that man would desire you, he would fight for you, overcome obstacles and challenges for you, forsake ALL other loves for you, and one day he would get down on one knee and profess his undying love for you.

Your whole life, you ached for this love. You wanted to have a family with him, go on adventures together with him, delight in each other every day, and of course, you wanted to grow old with him, even more deeply in love than the day when he married you.

You see, it wasn’t just about getting married. Marriage touched that innermost ache of your feminine heart to be pursued and delighted in as woman, to be cherished as a woman, to be desired and adored as a woman, all the days of your life, enjoying deep emotional intimacy with your man and the incredible sexual intimacy that follows from the depth of your spiritual bond. The fulfillment of this ache is what it means to be Adored for Life.

God gave you that ache in your heart for a reason. He wants you to have that experience in your marriage. He is a Father who is good and who loves you and wants to give you good things.

He designed your heart as a woman to receive that kind of love and that’s why you always ache for it. Your husband also has a deep ache for love. It’s very different than yours, but it’s designed to fit together. This is what sexual complementarity is.

The shape of your ache for love is actually very different than his, but when you receive yours, he receives his and you both find joy together. What I want to tell you today is that when your marriage is in trouble, and you’re wondering whether or not it can be healed and repaired, and you’re going through that agonizing decision of do I just keep living in this relationship feeling emotionally distant, sad and unsupported, or do we separate, I want to save you a lot of time and emotional energy and just get straight to the heart of what’s going on in your relationship.

You see when you are having a hard time getting along with your husband. When you’re experiencing a lot of fighting and seeing his anger, emotional distance, you might think that the reason you’re experiencing this is because of your husband’s selfishness, anger problem, character flaws, maybe you see excessive drinking, childhood wounds or trauma, narcissistic tendencies, or you feel like he’s being mean because he’s choosing to put his time and attention into everything else but you.

But none of these are actually the real cause of the breakdown which is actually much much deeper than that. Those things are symptoms you’re experiencing on the surface; they are not the root cause of the breakdown underneath. It’s vital not to mistake the symptoms for the cause. 

When your marriage is deeply hurting, you and your husband are no longer actively, making the other feel loved in the way that you’re designed to be loved in your feminine ache and his masculine ache—the way that naturally and irresistably attracted you to each in the first place. That’s why it hurts so much. You no longer feel that he desires you. You no longer see in him the man who was willing to fight for you, go out of his way to make sure you feel supported, and taken care of, and loved by him so so tenderly. You’re no longer receiving that right now.

Instead, You feel neglected right in that tender spot where you ache for him to show up as that man who adores you and comes through for you. Not only are you not experiencing that joy right now, you’re feeling wounded right in that spot and that’s why it hurts so much!

Right now, your husband also has a deep deep ache in the very core of his masculine heart, and the reason why he’s moving away from you, rather than toward you, is also because of the pain that he’s experiencing right now in the present moment from his unmet need for love in the way he’s designed to experience that love as a man.

This is why he is no longer actively pursuing you and supporting you in the way that delights your heart as a woman. This is also why he gets angry, upset, stonewalls, or puts his attention into other things. I'm not saying that's a good thing, but I want you to see that these are symptoms on the surface, because he feels wounded underneath.

So these become coping mechanisms for dealing with his unmet need. The more you point out why you are so upset with him and all the obvious things that you think he should be doing, the more you are actively wounding his heart, even if to you it doesn’t seem like that. And the flip side is that the more he reacts to this by getting angry with you, being mean to you, refusing to talk to you, turning away from you, and not showing up to support you, putting his time and attention into other things, the more he is actively wounding your heart, and not just anywhere, but in your innermost feminine ache to be loved, desired, taken care of, and supported, and tenderly loved for life.

This damaging Cycle is what we at Adored for Life call the Cycle of Neglect & Disrespect. It’s a sex specific cycle where husband and wife are actively wounding the other right in the tender spot where they most ache to be loved, but because their hearts are so different from each other, neither one realizes they are doing it, nor even intends it. That’s the most heart-breaking thing. 

Now... I know, that’s not your dream. That’s not what you signed up for on your wedding day when you said “I do.” But I also hear you wondering to yourself “but how much longer can I keep on living like this? It’s hell!” I hear you.

And what I’m here to show you is that your situation can be turned around very quickly, I mean in the next one to two weeks, you will see him apologize to you, take action on his own to repair the damage without you telling him at all. You’ll start seeing him change in the way he speaks to you, shows up for you, and he’ll start taking action on the things that he needs to be doing in the relationship.

And here’s why this happens. The reason is that the root cause of marital breakdown is each spouse actively hurting each other in exactly the tender spot where they most yearn to be loved as a woman and as man this destructive dynamic is happening now in the present moment (not somewhere else, not in the past), once you realize that this damaging cycle (The Cycle of Neglect and Disrespect) is the root cause of marriage pain, it can be fixed almost immediately.

Now I want to take you one level deeper and show you why this is the case, so you can see it for yourself. The ways that the marriage help industry tries to help you fix your marriage are actually exacerbating the problem. I want you to see this for yourself, because you’re about to get a big breakthrough here.

Let’s say you’re fighting at home with your husband and it’s so frustrating and you’re like, “this isn’t working. we need help.” And then what do you do? “Let’s talk to a counselor or pastor or someone to sit with us and help us sort this out.” And what do you do when you get there? You complain about each other. You try to share vulnerably why you feel so hurt and disappointed in him and what you want to see change. And guess what, not only does this NOT move your husband to action, he probably acts worse, because what’s happening at that moment is wounding him and he feels disrespected and unloved, which then pushes him away from you rather than toward you.

(It’s actually exacerbating the root cause of the problem, Cycle of Neglect & Disrespect, Instead of actually getting rid of it entirely.) 

 Or maybe your counselor insists on a psychotherapy approach to try to find out why your husband is so broken from his childhood wounds that’s he’s incapable of really showing you love unless he heals his inner wounds, and then you believe that, because your therapist said it. And again, look at what you are saying right now in the present moment. You are actively communicating to him that “you are not capable. You’re really just like a small wounded child.” And so again, that communication will cause him to feel even more hurt and disrespected because it is still actively wounding him right in his tender spot where he most yearns for you to love him as a man. Do you see it? This is why he gets upset.

So this psychotherapy approach, the talk therapy, the let’s focus on healing childhood wounds does absolutely NOTHING to cultivate genuine emotional intimacy, and it’s actually worse than that, (and maybe you’ve experienced this). It continues to actively wound the other person, so it’s continually breaking down the emotional safety of the relationship, instead of building it up. Which is what you need to have as a foundation if you want to have any relationship at all.

This kind of “counseling” literally becomes a catalyst for divorce. People get angry when I say that but it's true. I’ve literally seen it myself with my own eyes. And the reason is, these methods of trying to "fix" the problem are actually aggravating the problem rather than treating it.

It would be like if you’re having stomach pain and your gut is inflammed, but instead of taking nutrients that calm the inflammation, you just keep putting into your body the substances that inflame it.

What happens if you keep doing that? Your tummy gets really angry, and eventually it just shuts down.

But this is what is happening in your relationship when you keep communicating to your husband that you’re disappointed in him, here is how he’s failed you, you need to see change, you want him to improve, you want him to heal his childhood wounds or his narcissism, or other traumas that you think are causing the relationship problems, but in reality, these are inflammatory substances you are putting into the relationship, and what’s the outcome?

An angry husband who cannot process so much of the inflammation that he eventually just shuts down. Do you see it?

Most women think that if they can just convince their husband to change and fix himself, then finally the relationship will be better, yet this is the exact reason why they continue to be stuck and the relationship just deteriorates. I can tell you from my own professional experience speaking to women who went down this path, they always divorced their husband and they now have to live for the rest of their lives with a broken family and experience all of the loss and real trauma that is, and the regret they have for their children and it…is… a nightmare.

So I want to be clear with you. I do not support that, and the reason is, I know that’s not what you really DESIRE for your family. Right? I know you want to grow old together with your husband in a tender loving easy relationship, and you want to visit your grandchildren together with him in a strong and tender marriage, and enjoy the life you are building together.

You want your husband to look at you and say “you are my beautiful beloved bride, and I love you till the end.” I know you want to be cherished and Adored for Life!

Couples in happy relationships don’t focus on fixing each other or trying to get the other to change. Change happens naturally when you decide to CREATE Intimacy, instead of focusing on “fixing” the other person.

*So Now I want to ask you the most important question anyone has ever asked you about your relationship. This is the only question that really matters. Are you ready for this?

What were you doing when your relationship was CALM, EASY and EFFORTLESS?

I’m going to say that again. What were you doing when your relationship was CALM, EASY and EFFORTLESS?

What were you doing when you and your husband experienced that irresistible attraction to each other, and your relationship felt amazing? What were you doing when you saw your man take on real challenges on your behalf and show up as the man who couldn’t wait to profess his undying love for you?

What were YOU doing?

Were you “honestly communicating” about how disappointed you are in him? Were you telling him that he needs to change and improve? Were you telling him that he’s like a small wounded child and unless he addresses these issues he can’t really be capable of love?

Were you complaining about him in front of a counselor or to your best friend? Were you “doing the homework” your therapist gave you to do. No. You weren’t doing any of those things.

I’m going to show you what you were doing when your husband went out of his way to make you feel cherished. You were following what we at Adored for Life call, the Rhythm of Romantic Love.

#1 You inspired him. There was something about you, the way you revealed your heart, showed up in your energy that attracted him to you naturally. What you did had such a POWERFUL influence on him that…

#2 He FREELY and Courageously pursued you. He went out of his way to delight you and show you his love, and your relationship was thrilling and fun, and sexy, and romantic. (Remember that?! Remember how amazing that was?) Then what did you do?

You did something incredible which made both of you feel each other’s love so deeply.

#3. You received his love. You decided that his efforts to impress you were successful, and you received them and enjoyed them, which brought so much love and joy to you both. He felt delighted when he could succeed with you and make you happy, and you were overjoyed to receive that kind of love.

And even though you each desired different things, you fulfilled the distinct ache in each other’s heart for love.

It was EASY and EFFORTLESS. It was amazing and delightful. You FELT so adored and deeply loved. And this is what we call, the METHOD of NATURAL ATTRACTION.

With natural attraction, your husband FREELY on his own initiative pursues you and delights you, because he WANTS to. Because You are the woman who inspires his best and he loves you so much he can’t wait to please you.

He WANTS to be the hero who delights your heart. It’s sexy, it’s inviting, it’s FUN.

Because the ONLY way that marital intimacy actually thrives is by way of NATRUAL ATTRACTION.

And here’s the thing.

Now that you understand the Rhythm of Romantic Love—that three step pattern in the relationship where you inspire, he responds, you receive—that’s literally how romance happens. Here’s the most fascinating thing. Are you ready for this?

This Rhythm of Romantic Love IS the Rhythm of Sexual Union. You arouse, he responds, you receive. Notice that a happy married relationship actually mirrors the act of sex (that’s actually why we call sex the marital act—it acts out in the body what the relationship pof marriage is. The design of our bodies reflects the desire of our hearts). That’s why, when your relationship is in trouble, sex starts to go missing. Right?

But when you re-ignite that Rhythm of Romantic Love in your relationship, where you inspire, he’s freely pursues you, eager to please you and you receive that love, guess what? Sexual intimacy becomes the expression of that emotional intimacy, and that is breathtakingly powerful.

Your husband will feel like he’s the hero who can please you (which is what he wants to be), and you just love the pleasure of receiving that love, right? Now…here’s the moment for the most INCREDIBLE breakthrough I want to share with you.

Once you see this, you can no longer UNSEE it. Ok? Here it is.

Women both begin and complete the cycle of intimacy in Romantic love. Your femininity inspires, he responds, you receive. Women both begin and complete the cycle of intimacy in Romantic love. So Look at how powerful an influence you have in the relationship. I can guarantee you that right now you are not using this power to instantly create that irresistible NATURAL ATTRACTION.

You are not doing the things that set that rhythm of love in motion. And it’s very easy to do! Between you and me, I know you want him to be chasing after you, delighting you, supporting you, making you feel cherished and you want him to choose it FREELY because he wants to, not because a counselor said, “this is your homework.” That’s not sexy and it doesn’t create intimacy.

But notice what’s happening in your relationship right now. Right now, you are probably chasing after him, you telling him what he needs to change, (now who is pursuing whom?) and while I know you’re just trying to express your needs, this is not the way you did it when he went out of his way to make sure you felt his love.

The bottom line is: You will never get marital happiness if you are the one chasing after him, because every single time he is going to feel disrespected and you are going to be further exacerbating and inflaming the problem, going deeper into the destructive cycle of neglect and disrespect instead of the cycle of intimacy that delights you both. Do you see this?

Because once you see this, you can literally never go back to unseeing this. So, how do you fix the relationship? You reset the Rhythm of Romantic Love. That’s how you fell in love in the first place, and it’s how you stay in love, and what’s fascinating is that even though you each desire different things it’s complementary, it’s how you fulfill each other’s heart’s together, easily and effortlessly.

That’s the magnetism that attracted you both together.

And when you have that, you have love, joy, ease, trust, and fun. Your relationship no longer feels heavy. Because No one wants that.

And the most important thing I want to tell you is that YOU have the power in the PRESENT moment, to change the entire direction of your relationship.

Why, because you as the woman begin and complete the cycle of intimacy in romantic love, not your husband. That is just the anatomy of human love. SO just as you get gut health by respecting the design of the gut, in human love, you have peace, passion, and joy when you respect the design of each other’s hearts and the rhythm of love that delights you both.

Note that this doesn’t mean you “do all the work” it means you INSPIRE, you AROUSE, and you’ll see that he FREELY responds to you with courage and great love overcoming obstacles and challenges, just like you saw him do before, and you receive his love. And when that happens, then WOW, you are eager to express that love sexually in your bodies.

It means even when you have to make decisions together in your relationship, (parenting, finances, or family life) etc. you follow this same Cycle of Intimacy, so you never fight with each other again.

So my question to you is this: Are you going to stop looking at the past and what’s already happened in your relationship and finally use the PRESENT moment to recreate the pattern of love that led to your husband fulfilling your heart and you his?

You know what’s interesting is that the word “present” means both, “this moment right now, but it also means, “a gift.” A present.

And what I want to offer to you, is a gift. It’s the chance to use the present moment to completely reignite this rhythm of love in your relationship with the magnetism of natural attraction.

This is how your relationship becomes easy and sweet, not just once but for life. This is how you will grow old together, hand in hand, heart in heart, where you look at him with those admiring eyes, and every day he makes you feel cherished and Adored for Life!

If you’re ready to receive this incredible gift, APPLY NOW because you can easily attract your husband's tender love for you, and this gift is yours to receive.