Irene Alexander, PhD, CLC, ICF Certified Coach



Irene Alexander, PhD, CLC, ICF Certified Coach



Yes, You Can Be Tenderly Loved in Your Marriage

Yes, You Can Be Tenderly Loved in Your Marriage

Do you have doubts about your relationship?  Here's what I want to tell you today. Yes, you can be tenderly loved in your marriage. Here's how I know. 

The other day, one of my daughters was getting some grapes out of the fridge. 

She pulled off a strand and all of a sudden two or three grapes flew off unintentionally on to the floor. 

I gasped! 

(Not because I'm obsessed with keeping our floors amazingly clean or anything...Lord knows with 6 kids, that's nearly impossible) lol. 🤣

But because we have a dog. 

Did you know that a single grape can seriously hurt a dog? 

It can shut down their kidneys! 

I never grew up with dogs so that's not something I always knew or came intuitively to me. 

But now that I know that such a seemingly insignificant thing could actually be seriously harmful, that knowledge is empowering. 

What does this have to do with your relationship?

Well...everything! 

You see, every time I hear from an amazing good-hearted woman that she is experiencing fighting, anger, and emotional distance in her relationship...

I listen in for the "grapes."  

Those things that if you drop them, even unintentionally, they will seriously hurt your man's heart. 

And over 42 years of data demonstrates that your man will react to them by getting upset and emotionally shutting down...

...which makes you feel like your husband doesn't care about you or the relationship. 

But it isn't true. He cares for you...deeply.

I know that every time there is fighting, anger, or emotional distance in the relationship, the "grapes" are there. 

I see them. 

They seem so small and insignificant that they are often overlooked. Hardly anyone even thinks they are relevant, 

but ooooh they are!

Now, what if you just picked them up off the floor and removed them from the picture? 

What would happen then?

I'm going to tell you what would happen. 

The fighting stops. 

The apologies come. 

The tuning-in-to-each-other emotionally becomes an every day reality. 

You find yourself cuddling up in bed, touching each other affectionately, and sharing meaningful conversations. 

You find yourself smiling. 

Your husband goes out of his way to delight you.

It is AMAZING!!!

Women are SO surprised every time this happens but it's actually predictable.

...because they didn't realize how SIMPLE it is for their relationships to be saved and to be turned around DRAMATICALLY! 

If you're like most women I serve, you didn't grow up learning what the "grapes" are.  

How to remove them. How to attract and invite a significantly better RESPONSE from your man.

It's like a BIG, "OOOOhhhhh" moment. "Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?!?!?"

And then from there, everything in the relationship becomes much easier. 

He comes home and greets you with a tender kiss.  

He takes the kids, so you can relax and have some more "me" time to refresh...

He gives you little cards and notes telling you what an amazing woman you are...

You're sexually attracted to him! And it feels SO great, after months or years of not having that. 

And that's why I can say to you with confidence, luv,

You can be tenderly loved in your marriage.

I know you have a lot of theories about why it isn't possible. 

Because based on what you've seen him say and do, it doesn't seem to be so!

I hear you...(hugs)

and at the same time...I also see those darn grapes on the floor. 

Why not remove them and start enjoying the real fruit of emotional intimacy?

Because the truth is...

You CAN be tenderly loved in your marriage. 

It is yours to receive...