IRENE ALEXANDER, Ph.D., C.L.C. ICF Certified Professional Coach

IRENE ALEXANDER, Ph.D., C.L.C. ICF Certified Professional Coach


Why AFL Coaching is SO Effective

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One of the questions I get asked a lot is, why do you only coach women? Why don't you bring the couple together to work on the relationship? 
Great question! 
The answer is surprisingly simple. 
Coaching only women is the FASTEST and most EFFECTIVE way to see results in your relationship. And by "results" I mean, all of a sudden you see REAL CHANGE in your relationship. 
Instead of feeling unseen and unappreciated, all of a sudden you see your husband listening tenderly to you, taking initiative on the things most important to your heart, and going out of his way to see you smile. 
And then we put that amazing relationship pattern on repeat so you feel cherished and adored not just once in a while, but always. Adored for Life!
So...
Here's Three Reasons why Adored for Life is a "Women's Only" Program rather than a "couple's program."
1. The goal is to create emotional safety in the relationship, not to harm it!
One of main problems of bringing husband and wife together to "work on the issues" is that couple's sessions quickly become "venting" sessions where very little gets accomplished. 
But the bad news is, it's actually worse than that. 
Because complaining about each other in front of a third party is embarrassing and humiliating (especially for man!), it often agitates his defensiveness and his feelings that no matter what, he just can't win with his wife.  
Is that what we want to create? 
Nope! 
Rather than fostering the emotional safety necessary to make the relationship thrive, the format of "honestly sharing" all your criticisms and disappointments and ideas for his improvement actually HARMS the emotional safety, rather than building it up. 
Now imagine this!
Rather than focusing on "the issues," your coach uses specialized training to enable you to pinpoint more of what you want and love in your relationship so that you create a plan to receive WAY more of what you LOVE! So you experience deeper connection and emotional intimacy in your relationship. 
Sounds great, huh? But maybe you're wondering, how does that magical dynamic get moving in the relationship. Shouldn't my husband be in on this too? 
I totally hear you. Which brings me to the most important difference between men and women in marriage. 
2. Women yearn to be pursued, adored, and tenderly loved in marriage.
It should come as no surprise at all, that when we're talking about marriage, there is a special dynamic in the relationship rooted in sexual difference. We're not just generic "partners."
As women our hearts were made for deep relational intimacy. We crave it with every fiber of our being. 
Problems spring forth in marriage when you begin to see evidence of his flaws. It makes you feel that he's not who you thought and now you fear his failure. 


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