Remember the first key principle of complementarity?
(As you enjoy some much needed chocolate. It's medicinal. ;)
Your man is the pursuer and you yearn to be pursued.
That means you just LOVE it when your husband chases after you and makes you feel pursued, adored, and tenderly loved in your marriage.
Except, what's happening in your relationship right now?
Are you chasing after him, telling him all the reasons why he needs to be better so you can finally be happy? (Is that approach working for you? Probably not!)
Do you see how it all works?
What this means is that instead of chasing after your husband and feeling constantly stressed out, overwhelmed, and unsupported in your marriage, all of a sudden, he's chasing after you, making sure you feel adored and loved.
Which is what you wanted in the first place. :)
Here's a pretty chart of what the process looks like (because it's more FUN, that way!)
Here are all the important details to make it easier.
1. Eliminate Drama & Get More of of What You Want:
This is all about communicating your needs and desires in a way that influences his heart so he’s inspired to respond to you (while also giving up the “communication” that drives him away and leads to his anger and stonewalling). This strategy saves you SO MUCH time and cuts out needless drama so your husband listens carefully to you and uses the best of his mind and heart to come through for you.
2. Learn How your Man Feels Loved:
...aaaand you also love him in the way he most yearns to be loved! This is where you get the exact strategy for coming up with awesome solutions to your conflicts, so you NEVER FIGHT AGAIN (yes, you heard me correctly). The best part? You both fulfill each other’s heart effortlessly.
3. Increase tenderness & emotional intimacy.
Every woman yearns to be tenderly loved. Every woman yearns for emotional intimacy. (That’s already half the reason you said “I do.”)
Now take a minute and let these quotes sink in...
"Tenderness is the ability to feel with and for the whole person...this is the kind of tenderness a woman expects from a man, and she has a special right to it in marriage."
Pope John Paul II
And also this one....
"The man must reckon with the fact that the woman is in a sense in another world unlike himself...since he has to play the active role in the marital relationship, he must get to know that other world, and indeed as far as possible project himself into it emotionally."
Pope John Paul II
Don’t you just yearn to be loved like that?
In Step 3 of the process, we show you what exactly moves your husband to caress you with tenderness so you feel like you’re falling in love with him all over again.
We’ll also show you how to cultivate emotional safety, so he feels free to share his heart with you. (YES!)
Now...will it take more than one week to experience all this?
But will you have an unfair advantage over every marriage program in the world because you understand the principles of male-female complementarity? Will you be the HAPPY, FUN, irresistible woman who inspires her husband’s attractive and tender love?
You will see the bigger picture and understand exactly why a few counseling sessions or unstructured “skills” don't make you Adored for Life!
Only a deeper dive into the mystery of complementarity-your feminine heart's deep yearning to be pursued, adored, and tenderly loved in your marriage—will get you there.
So maybe you're saying, "Ok I get that. But how do I DO that?"
Let me give you a concrete example of how I did it (which you are welcome to steal).